A open letter to the interwebs

Dear Interwebs,

Remember how when I first started blogging here and I was angsty, semi-slutty and single? Remember how I wrote about break-ups, heartbreak and broken vaginas? Those were the days!

It's been awhile since I really blogged. I haven't known what to say or where to say it. But the thing is the adventure for the past few years has been dating. And fuck me if that was obnoxious. Happily married people tell you that they wish they could date -- they are full of shit, Internet. You know why? Because if that were true NO ONE WOULD EVER GET MARRIED. In fact, I think one of the main reasons people must get married is a) love, I guess and 2) TO NEVER DATE AGAIN.

Anyhow, Internet, it's strange to admit this, but I am no longer 'dating'. What I guess I am trying to say is that I have a boyfriend. You know him, Internet. You met him at the start of the other blog. I met Simon at the very beginning of my adventure. It was too soon to meet him though. I needed to be angsty, semi-slutty and single. I needed to make out in bank parking lots, to love a man that was so entirely wrong for me it is somewhat unfathomable to me now what I ever saw appealing in this person, I needed to be afraid and fall for the wrong people because they were safe and I wasn't ready. I needed to make mistakes. OH THE MISTAKES. But thankfully, for the most part, they were humorous and hilarious mistakes with minimal damage.

Some people use their 20's to act like a fool. I used 29 to be an idiot and document it on the Internet. Because that is what sane people do.

Now I have a new challenge, a new adventure. And as we approach the new year ever so quickly, I find myself missing this outlet. A place to write and tell you Internet about the insanity that is my life. Except, it's not that insane anymore. Well, unless you count falling in love with someone who lives 4000 miles away. Well, I guess technically he only lived 90 miles away when I fell for him.

Internet, sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time. And then if you are lucky, you wait the Universe out. You wait until you are both ready and even then the Universe tests you because, well, the Universe is still a bitch (that apparently never changes!) But you wait and then you get what you want.

Unless you are mailing something overseas. The postal service is an even bigger dick than the Universe. WHO KNEW?

I'm going to try to not be too sappy on this blog. I'm going to try and live up to my full snark potential, but the truth is even though it's tough, it's also really exciting and fun. And so let's talk about stuff, Internet! Let's talk about love, sex, broken vaginas, best friends and dogs that like it when you take your shirt off.

I'm back bitches! Browsers be warned!

Kisses,
J