All the Single Ladies

This here is a long distance dedication to the ones (the ladies) I love . . .

Several of my single friends lately have been struggling with the many facets of dating. And as I listen, it makes me sad. I remember how it feels. How hopeless and lonely it can seem. How tiring it is to constantly remind yourself that you are awesome. You are worth it. How hard it is to believe in your own happy ending sometimes.

This is what I wish someone would have said to me:

It might not work out. Who knows. I can feed you all the bullshit happy ending promises, but you still might end up on your couch, watching bad TV and crying into your pint of ice cream. In fact, I am sure you will be there again. We all will.

Being single is not easy. It's nice to be self sufficient and you should be. Be happy with who you are alone, sure. But fuck if sometimes you don't just want your boyfriend to zip up your dress.

I get it. I promise. I was there. Lonely. Scared. And tired of waiting. And I STILL don't have someone to zip up my dress, so ladies, let's be honest I fucked this up!

But seriously, just remember this is the time to be selfish. To work on you. To do what you want. So use it. Have adventures, make mistakes and laugh with your best friends about your awkward dates/hookups/online dating emails/parking lot adventures...

I can't promise you it will for sure get better. But I think it will. A man (or a woman) will see in you what I see. You are lovely, hilarious, kind and fucking bomb.

If I wanted to sleep with chicks, I would have already hit that by now.

Truth.

Take it from me. If I can find love with my whacked out crazy brain & heart, so can you. Just take a deep breath, remind yourself for the 4000th time that your are smart, beautiful and funny as hell, and walk out into the world asking for what you want.

You don't NEED a man. You want one. And that's normal. Don't beat yourself up. Most of us want to share our lives with someone. It's not weak, it is human.

I think you deserve a partner. Someone to share you happiness and your sorrows with. I know you deserve love.

And even if you can't right now, I believe in your happy ending for you.

Long Distance Pillow Talk

Me: ::laughs:: I am pretty sure when you live 4,000 miles apart you aren't supposed to joke on NYE that you are hitting on other girls. I am pretty sure you are supposed to reassure me or something!

S: Ha! Babe, I am talking to you at midnight what more do you want me to do? I mean if I called you when I was balls deep in some chick THAT would be awkward.

Me: Oh my god! Did you just really say balls deep in some chick to me? ::laughs:: You are hilarious! And drunk.

S: Maybe...


****** A few minutes later *******

Me: Well, you are calling me from the future! It's even a different year!

S: It's true! It's like I'm Marty McFly!

Me: Could you find the time machine so you could be here at my midnight?

S: Yeah, that would be awesome!

Me: Totally. Then you could be balls deep in THIS CHICK!

S: ::Cracks up laughing:: I totally deserved that. Ha! I can't believe you said balls deep.

Me: I can keep up with you!

S: That's what I like about you.

Me: Dude, I said balls deep. Gross.

S: ::laughter::

Little things

It's the little things that matter when you live 4,000 miles apart. The little things people who live in the same city (or heck, even the same country) take for granted. Things like text messages, phone calls and being able to spend 20 minutes with someone in the middle of a busy week. We both constantly live in two time zones -- thinking both of our own schedule and then thinking of theirs.

Are they awake right now? Are they working? OH MY GOD I WANT TO TELL THEM THIS BUT IT IS 4 AM THERE!

That's why our New Year's Eve was so awesome. He put money on his phone. We spoke at both our midnights. We texted through out the night. And even though we couldn't kiss at midnight or "monogamous hand hold" as he joked -- we got to feel like we were a part of each other's night. When the new year struck both in England and in Missouri we were each other's first call, first thought.

I am grateful that he wants to do this with me. And grateful that even with cheesy things like New Year's Eve that shouldn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things he makes an effort to make sure I know I'm the one he chooses. And I do the same.

That's the thing about living 4,000 miles away. It's a constant choice. A constant quest for balance--how to both live in the moment where you are and also share your life with someone across an ocean.

And so even though we did not share the same physical space, we started the 2012 off together. I have a feeling this will be our best year, yet!