This here is a long distance dedication to the ones (the ladies) I love . . .
Several of my single friends lately have been struggling with the many facets of dating. And as I listen, it makes me sad. I remember how it feels. How hopeless and lonely it can seem. How tiring it is to constantly remind yourself that you are awesome. You are worth it. How hard it is to believe in your own happy ending sometimes.
This is what I wish someone would have said to me:
It might not work out. Who knows. I can feed you all the bullshit happy ending promises, but you still might end up on your couch, watching bad TV and crying into your pint of ice cream. In fact, I am sure you will be there again. We all will.
Being single is not easy. It's nice to be self sufficient and you should be. Be happy with who you are alone, sure. But fuck if sometimes you don't just want your boyfriend to zip up your dress.
I get it. I promise. I was there. Lonely. Scared. And tired of waiting. And I STILL don't have someone to zip up my dress, so ladies, let's be honest I fucked this up!
But seriously, just remember this is the time to be selfish. To work on you. To do what you want. So use it. Have adventures, make mistakes and laugh with your best friends about your awkward dates/hookups/online dating emails/parking lot adventures...
I can't promise you it will for sure get better. But I think it will. A man (or a woman) will see in you what I see. You are lovely, hilarious, kind and fucking bomb.
If I wanted to sleep with chicks, I would have already hit that by now.
Truth.
Take it from me. If I can find love with my whacked out crazy brain & heart, so can you. Just take a deep breath, remind yourself for the 4000th time that your are smart, beautiful and funny as hell, and walk out into the world asking for what you want.
You don't NEED a man. You want one. And that's normal. Don't beat yourself up. Most of us want to share our lives with someone. It's not weak, it is human.
I think you deserve a partner. Someone to share you happiness and your sorrows with. I know you deserve love.
And even if you can't right now, I believe in your happy ending for you.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Little things
It's the little things that matter when you live 4,000 miles apart. The little things people who live in the same city (or heck, even the same country) take for granted. Things like text messages, phone calls and being able to spend 20 minutes with someone in the middle of a busy week. We both constantly live in two time zones -- thinking both of our own schedule and then thinking of theirs.
Are they awake right now? Are they working? OH MY GOD I WANT TO TELL THEM THIS BUT IT IS 4 AM THERE!
That's why our New Year's Eve was so awesome. He put money on his phone. We spoke at both our midnights. We texted through out the night. And even though we couldn't kiss at midnight or "monogamous hand hold" as he joked -- we got to feel like we were a part of each other's night. When the new year struck both in England and in Missouri we were each other's first call, first thought.
I am grateful that he wants to do this with me. And grateful that even with cheesy things like New Year's Eve that shouldn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things he makes an effort to make sure I know I'm the one he chooses. And I do the same.
That's the thing about living 4,000 miles away. It's a constant choice. A constant quest for balance--how to both live in the moment where you are and also share your life with someone across an ocean.
And so even though we did not share the same physical space, we started the 2012 off together. I have a feeling this will be our best year, yet!
Are they awake right now? Are they working? OH MY GOD I WANT TO TELL THEM THIS BUT IT IS 4 AM THERE!
That's why our New Year's Eve was so awesome. He put money on his phone. We spoke at both our midnights. We texted through out the night. And even though we couldn't kiss at midnight or "monogamous hand hold" as he joked -- we got to feel like we were a part of each other's night. When the new year struck both in England and in Missouri we were each other's first call, first thought.
I am grateful that he wants to do this with me. And grateful that even with cheesy things like New Year's Eve that shouldn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things he makes an effort to make sure I know I'm the one he chooses. And I do the same.
That's the thing about living 4,000 miles away. It's a constant choice. A constant quest for balance--how to both live in the moment where you are and also share your life with someone across an ocean.
And so even though we did not share the same physical space, we started the 2012 off together. I have a feeling this will be our best year, yet!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
A open letter to the interwebs
Dear Interwebs,
Remember how when I first started blogging here and I was angsty, semi-slutty and single? Remember how I wrote about break-ups, heartbreak and broken vaginas? Those were the days!
It's been awhile since I really blogged. I haven't known what to say or where to say it. But the thing is the adventure for the past few years has been dating. And fuck me if that was obnoxious. Happily married people tell you that they wish they could date -- they are full of shit, Internet. You know why? Because if that were true NO ONE WOULD EVER GET MARRIED. In fact, I think one of the main reasons people must get married is a) love, I guess and 2) TO NEVER DATE AGAIN.
Anyhow, Internet, it's strange to admit this, but I am no longer 'dating'. What I guess I am trying to say is that I have a boyfriend. You know him, Internet. You met him at the start of the other blog. I met Simon at the very beginning of my adventure. It was too soon to meet him though. I needed to be angsty, semi-slutty and single. I needed to make out in bank parking lots, to love a man that was so entirely wrong for me it is somewhat unfathomable to me now what I ever saw appealing in this person, I needed to be afraid and fall for the wrong people because they were safe and I wasn't ready. I needed to make mistakes. OH THE MISTAKES. But thankfully, for the most part, they were humorous and hilarious mistakes with minimal damage.
Some people use their 20's to act like a fool. I used 29 to be an idiot and document it on the Internet. Because that is what sane people do.
Now I have a new challenge, a new adventure. And as we approach the new year ever so quickly, I find myself missing this outlet. A place to write and tell you Internet about the insanity that is my life. Except, it's not that insane anymore. Well, unless you count falling in love with someone who lives 4000 miles away. Well, I guess technically he only lived 90 miles away when I fell for him.
Internet, sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time. And then if you are lucky, you wait the Universe out. You wait until you are both ready and even then the Universe tests you because, well, the Universe is still a bitch (that apparently never changes!) But you wait and then you get what you want.
Unless you are mailing something overseas. The postal service is an even bigger dick than the Universe. WHO KNEW?
I'm going to try to not be too sappy on this blog. I'm going to try and live up to my full snark potential, but the truth is even though it's tough, it's also really exciting and fun. And so let's talk about stuff, Internet! Let's talk about love, sex, broken vaginas, best friends and dogs that like it when you take your shirt off.
I'm back bitches! Browsers be warned!
Kisses,
J
Remember how when I first started blogging here and I was angsty, semi-slutty and single? Remember how I wrote about break-ups, heartbreak and broken vaginas? Those were the days!
It's been awhile since I really blogged. I haven't known what to say or where to say it. But the thing is the adventure for the past few years has been dating. And fuck me if that was obnoxious. Happily married people tell you that they wish they could date -- they are full of shit, Internet. You know why? Because if that were true NO ONE WOULD EVER GET MARRIED. In fact, I think one of the main reasons people must get married is a) love, I guess and 2) TO NEVER DATE AGAIN.
Anyhow, Internet, it's strange to admit this, but I am no longer 'dating'. What I guess I am trying to say is that I have a boyfriend. You know him, Internet. You met him at the start of the other blog. I met Simon at the very beginning of my adventure. It was too soon to meet him though. I needed to be angsty, semi-slutty and single. I needed to make out in bank parking lots, to love a man that was so entirely wrong for me it is somewhat unfathomable to me now what I ever saw appealing in this person, I needed to be afraid and fall for the wrong people because they were safe and I wasn't ready. I needed to make mistakes. OH THE MISTAKES. But thankfully, for the most part, they were humorous and hilarious mistakes with minimal damage.
Some people use their 20's to act like a fool. I used 29 to be an idiot and document it on the Internet. Because that is what sane people do.
Now I have a new challenge, a new adventure. And as we approach the new year ever so quickly, I find myself missing this outlet. A place to write and tell you Internet about the insanity that is my life. Except, it's not that insane anymore. Well, unless you count falling in love with someone who lives 4000 miles away. Well, I guess technically he only lived 90 miles away when I fell for him.
Internet, sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time. And then if you are lucky, you wait the Universe out. You wait until you are both ready and even then the Universe tests you because, well, the Universe is still a bitch (that apparently never changes!) But you wait and then you get what you want.
Unless you are mailing something overseas. The postal service is an even bigger dick than the Universe. WHO KNEW?
I'm going to try to not be too sappy on this blog. I'm going to try and live up to my full snark potential, but the truth is even though it's tough, it's also really exciting and fun. And so let's talk about stuff, Internet! Let's talk about love, sex, broken vaginas, best friends and dogs that like it when you take your shirt off.
I'm back bitches! Browsers be warned!
Kisses,
J
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